On the Better end of Manic Depression

So I just had a pretty good night. Hung out with someone who was pretty special. We had so much deeply in common, yet she was very different. I love when you meet some one that you can se your self in but also see what you wish you were. That to me is the most appealing thing about a significant other. Not only being the same, but knowing that they have something special that you didn't know that you always wanted but don't have already. (yea)

I have dated girls before that had so much in common with me that we were like the same person. When that goes away though and you get comfortable, then that similarity kinda fades and you begin to dig deeper. In some cases, when you dig deeper, you look for different things they have that you don't. It is at this point that you MUST like what you see, and almost envy them a bit. I have seen people that, not to sound conceded, have not a whole lot to offer. I want a girl to blow my mind damnit! Some times things just get boring if you have nothing to gleam from your somebody. The best relationships Ive been in have been good because I envied that person for they had that I didn't.

I became really catholic for a girl once because I admired her faith so much that I wanted it. She was also a good piano player, so I started playing piano. I learned so many cool things from the chick, to bad she screwed me over, but thats a different blog for a different day/or not. I was really into that relationship because I felt so lucky to be with her and I was soo interested in her life that I wanted to know every thing about it.

In contrast, I have been in relationships where I really don't get excited about a person. They were great and all, and we had a lot in common, but at the end of the day I didn't really feel drawn into there lives, or worse yet, I kinda didn't care. I hate being that guy, so I usually end it before we get to attached, maybe thats commitment issues but thats a blog again for a different day.

So, I feel like I just had a break through. I now know what I want/need in a relationship. Someone who fits all the other criteria that I have, plus now, someone that I extremely admire, like there life is awesome and I want to be like them. Basically I need to find a beautiful girl who is way better than me in every aspect and that is ultimately way out of my league. Great... But its going to be worth it. To demonstrate my resolve here is a song. Thanks world.

Til Kingdom Come

Still my heart and hold my tongue
I feel my time
My time has come
Let me in
Unlock the door
I never felt this way before

And the wheel just keeps on turning
The drummer begins to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know which way I’ve come

Hold my head inside your hands
I need someone who understands
I need someone, someone who hears
For you I’ve waited all these years

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my day, my day is done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

In your tears and in your blood
In your fire and in your flood
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing
I wouldn’t change a single thing
And the wheels just keep on turning
The drummers begin to drum
I don’t know which way I’m going
I don’t know what I’ve become

For you I’d wait 'til kingdom come
Until my days, my days are done
And say you'll come and set me free
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me

My attempt at writing more.

Creativity is a muscle some people say. If I want to be more creative I suppose I should create more.

As one gets busy, to the point of complete immersion in work, one may find it hard to have free time. Now that I have a bit more time I'm going to write. Another thing some one said is to write crap.

This seams like the perfect place to write crap. No one reads it so I don't have to feel bad about wasting anyones time. Also, if by chance some one does read this, I can tell them right now that this is crap.

Some times there also the issue of deciding what piece of crap I would like to create. For this instance I would like to write crap about people.

"People" are sometimes the greatest thing and worst thing in life, to me. Some times I love being around people and having fun or working with them. Some days though, people make me want to move out to a cabin in the woods and never talk to anyone again. Yes people are a double edged sword. People of influence can be both good an evil. The question is I suppose, is there more good people than bad people. In my life, I have seen my share of people who absolutely fall on the good side, but I have also seen people who I think are complete evil. I would consider my self on the good side of the middle but I am not perfect. I have made fun of people, I talk about people behind there back, I am not the best person. I do try my best to be a kind and gracious person.

The question still remains, is there more evil or good people. My answer is evil. But when you find a good person and your on there team of all this, its a wonderful thing. Its like seeing two yins a yang convention. I think since it's easier not to care about other people and its easier to sell out and not do what is right the world will always have more evil people.

My that sounds awful pessimistic, but really I look at it like a challenge. Be nice, be kind, talk to people, anybody, people who you have no business with. Don't start sentences with the phrase "not to be a dick but..." because your almost always gonna be a dick with the rest of the sentence; don't be a dick. ( I have no real idea where/when to use semi colons.) Don't act like you are entitled to everything, cause your not. Work for everything. Don't belittle/make fun of other people to make your self feel better. Tell the truth and don't lie, cause it really sucks to be lied to, and its so easy not to lie. When you think about telling a lie, DON'T! Just tell the truth and if it causes a problem, deal with it then, because if you lie about the problem, your just gonna have to deal with it later and then that person will be double pissed. And also, listen to people when they are talking to you, that one isn't to hard either, and never (verbally) judge some one for how they feel..But I like to rationalize in stead of judge. (Might be the same thing as judging)

So to be a good person is not hard, its just harder than being a good person. Thus evil is. Anyway. what was kinda my rant and attempt at writing a little thing for today.

Stay classy world.

Evan